June 2010
2 posts
3 tags
“What feels good today may hurt like hell tomorrow. Choose wisely out there!”
3 tags
How to get over someone.
1. Remind yourself why you broke up. It’s so easy to fall back into the memories of the good times. And when those thoughts come flooding back, you’ll want to call/text/email/screw your old partner in crime. Don’t do that. At those times, whip out a piece of paper and a pen — or maybe just your mobile device — and make a list of reasons your relationship...
May 2010
2 posts
2 tags
“Arrogance is insecurity in disguise.”
3 tags
“If you want a little, do a little work.
If you want a lot, do a lot of work.”
April 2010
6 posts
2 tags
“I won’t get more until I’m grateful for what I’ve got.”
2 tags
“Life’s too short to be realistic.”
2 tags
“Assume nothing. Prepare for everything. Love everyone.”
2 tags
“I workout because it makes me better in bed.”
I rap about "taking care of your self."
1 tag
“I don’t know how I know what I know. But I know that I know it. And...”
March 2010
6 posts
2 tags
“You know it’s a good night when the worst part is when it’s over.”
– my friend, Laura
3 tags
“Life’s too short to settle and too long to suffer.”
1 tag
About THE SECRET.
Random Life Coach Douche Bag: Jared, how can you not believe in The Secret?!
Me: I do. I once asked the universe for serious abs. Then, I did 10,000 crunches. And the universe gave me serious abs. I’m a believer, motherf*cker.
1 tag
The Jmw Health Care Plan
Add these things to your agenda, every day, and you’ll be happier and healthier than you’ve ever been!
A few basic yoga poses
daily vitamins
lots of water
sleep
sex
some random laughter
a thought-provoking conversation
time outside
a healthy meal
one good deed
something entertaining
time alone
a few really tight hugs
some good music
You should start to see an...
3 tags
“Instead of thinking the worst of people is probable, I think the best of people...”
3 tags
“Every day, ass is being kicked. And if you’re not doing the kicking – well…”
February 2010
7 posts
3 tags
“What if you’re on Match.com and your soulmate is on eHarmony?”
1 tag
I decided not to get a Valentine’s Day gift for the girl I’ve been casually dating, and now she’s giving me the cold shoulder. Is she too high-maintenance, or did I mess up? And how do you know when it’s appropriate to begin exchanging gifts?
MY ANSWER:
You need to shift perspective on what a gift is. It’s a token of appreciation, something that says “I like...
3 tags
“Patience is a virtue. But so is getting what I want right f*ckin’ now.”
2 tags
I dance dirty.
Special thanks to CC for being a kick-ass partner.
3 tags
“Sometimes, I give up. But I never give in.”
3 tags
“I’m not for everyone and everyone’s not for me.”
3 tags
“When chasing a dream, you need two things: an unwavering belief in yourself and...”
January 2010
16 posts
3 tags
“Life’s too short to be pissed off.”
2 tags
“I don’t know everything, but my iPhone does.”
2 tags
“If you don’t believe the car will start, you’ll never put the key in...”
2 tags
“The way you respond to life will ultimately define your own.”
2 tags
“There will be no shortage of people who doubt you. Don’t be one of them.”
2 tags
“Things don’t change until we believe they can.”
2 tags
I sing a love song.
2 tags
“When you lie you are alone.”
1 tag
“It is never too late to turn it all around.”
1 tag
“Add ‘look fabulous’ to your agenda, every day.”
1 tag
“Whenever I’m wrong, it just means that I’ve learned something new.”
1 tag
Carter makes a sexy face.
1 tag
“We always end up with what we value the most.”
1 tag
Check me out on The Today Show!
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/26184891/vp/34727375#34727375
1 tag
“Bad things have happened to me because I’m a person on the planet. Good...”
1 tag
Sometimes, we find wisdom in the strangest of...
While looking at a bottle of A1 Steak Sauce, I noticed the label said:
ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES
and
SHAKE WELL
Both I find to be excellent mantras for a life well lived.
How’s that for some sizzle with your steak?
Love you bye.
December 2009
10 posts
1 tag
Moving Forward 2010
I’ve been lied to. I’ve been cheated on. I’ve been judged. I’ve been disrespected. I’ve been heartbroken. I’ve made mistakes. I’ve lost hope. I’ve been called hopeless. I’ve been disappointed, disillusioned, and distressed. I’ve given up. I’ve given in. I’ve punished myself. But this year, I choose to leave it all behind me,...
1 tag
“When life gives you lemons: find someone who wants lemons and sell them your...”
1 tag
How to deal with stressful relatives during the holidays.
http://health.yahoo.com/experts/healthieryou/13997/6-difficult-holiday-personalitiesand-how-to-handle-them/
1 tag
“Blaming the world for my problems doesn’t solve them.”
1 tag
“Every time you lie to someone, you complicate your own life a little more.”
1 tag
“A relationship is like a shark: if there is no movement, it’s dead.”
– The Puno
2 tags
“You can talk to someone until you’re blue in the face — but why...”
1 tag
“A man without a dream is like a hammer without a nail.”
2 tags
Dumped for playing too many video games.
http://sports.yahoo.com/ten/blog/busted_racquet/post/Andy-Murray-gets-dumped-for-playing-too-many-vid?urn=ten,206655
1 tag
;(
This is the most conflicted emoticon ever.
November 2009
19 posts
“Everybody in this world, even the jerks, has something to contribute.”
– Joseph Grano, Jr.